On Music and Insanity

There are a number of songs that resonate with me for different reasons. At the most general level, I like songs with wit and songs that I can steal a bit of emotional energy from. This is why I have both "Barenaked Ladies" and "Celldweller" songs in my list of most played songs. There are, however, a group of songs that are in there for a more thematic reason:

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Rolling Stones - Paint it Black
The Who - Behind Blue Eyes
Tears for Fears - Mad World
Korn - Coming Undone
Drowning Pool - Bodies
Doors - People Are Strange


Yes.... I seem to collect songs that revolve around insanity. This is a very personal thing for me. Mental health has been an intense subject in my family at times. Of course, for me, the most intimate encounter was my own diagnosis of ADD. Although ADD is usually thought of just as a "focus" issue, there are often significant behavioral and emotional issues that come along for the ride. (If you're having a "But you're not ADD!" moment, please keep in mind that I've been medicated for ADD most of my life and have worked a lot of coping mechanisms.) In additional to behavioral, emotional, and other direct effects of having a mental "illness" (I would call it more of a malfunction) there are additional self-perception and social issues.

There is certainly a stigma against the mentally ill. There is definitely a stigma against folks who have had to spend time in an "institution." Even as I write this, I want to hurry to qualify that I haven't been in an "institution," because I'm afraid that anything I have to say would be immediately disqualified if I had. We don't trust people who are unstable. Certainly media doesn't ever portray someone (like me, I think) who is mentally ill, but through the power of modern medicine is also high-functioning and has a handle on life.

Beyond this, even "high functioning" individuals have an internal stigma. We will always hold ourselves, if not as "less", then certainly as "other" than someone who is "normal." We are acutely aware of those things that we are constantly struggling with that seem so easy to other people. We know when the frayed edges are showing, even if no one else notices anything different. We feel like we are clinging to the pieces our lives with a tenuous grip, always about to slip through our fingers.

But this isn't about anyone's personal struggles, this is about the music...

I imagine anyone who reads this is familiar with at least one of these songs. Chances are pretty good you even enjoy listening to one of those songs. I mean, these are not esoteric Indie artists. These are popular songs that have all had success as singles. So... While I don't have statistics on the percentage of the population who are struggling with mental illness, I'm pretty sure that it isn't high enough to have a noticeable impact on the music industry.

So... Doesn't that mean that these songs probably resonate with "normal" people as well? If that's the case, what are these songs really about? Alienation is certainly a strong theme. We've all been there. Certainly we all hit that point during our teenage years, but I think we also still go there at times. Sitting with our morning coffee, or perhaps in the car during our morning commute, we wonder if we have a connection to anything around us.

Impending loss of control is the second strong theme. If I ever get around to it, I'll share my opinion on "civilization," but in the mean time I'll give you this thought: it is a very complex thing to be a civilized modern human. Some time, or another, we all get to the point where we feel like we are ready to throw of the last shreds of our civilized demeanor. Most of us go there at least once during our daily commute. But, even beyond road rage, we have the stress of being tugged multiple directions at once. There are days when there are so many phone calls, emails, pressing errands, and people we really ought to be interacting with that we just don't know where to start. The pressure to do and accomplish is often so strong that we'd know that "one more thing" and we will simply stop functioning as a human...

Okay... So maybe it isn't about the music after all... But, perhaps we can recognize that in the end, we are all struggling to keep it together, and that's okay.